College relationships can be difficult. In between classes, clubs, work, friends and simply just finding yourself, it may be hard to balance maintaining a relationship too. However, if you are determined to make your college relationship last, here are 11 tried and true healthy relationship tips for college couples!
My boyfriend and I started dating our freshman year of college. We are now going into our senior year and our relationship couldn’t be better!
But just because we are very happy together doesn’t mean that we never faced any difficult times. Of course, we did! In fact, we still do.
However, we use these healthy relationship tips, alongside many other successful couples, that help us keep our bond strong through the years and the trials.
Today, we’re talking all about healthy relationship tips for college couples.
Healthy Relationship Tips For College Couples
Tip #1: Set Boundaries
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times. The key to a healthy relationship is setting boundaries! And while it is true that it is better late than never, I highly advise setting boundaries very early on in the relationship.
Setting boundaries lets your partner know right away what you are and are not comfortable with. It gives your partner insight into how to make you happy and make you feel assured and confident in the relationship. And at the same time, you maintain your self-value and self-respect by not allowing yourself to receive less than what you are worth from your partner.
Boundaries also open up avenues for communication that are typically cut off in boundary-less couples. In couples that lack boundaries, it is hard for partners to open up about things that hurt them or make them uneasy. Typically, these couples believe that doing so will only cause strain on the relationship.
But, if you set boundaries right away, you can relieve yourself from this stress and set your relationship up for success.
So do you and your partner a favor – set boundaries!
Tip #2: Be Realistic
It is very important for college couples to be realistic, especially about time.
The truth is, when you get to college, you have to learn good time management skills. Between homework and work and friends and classes and clubs and everything else that college students have going on, our schedules can get hectic very quickly.
That’s why college couples have to have realistic time expectations. If it is a midterm season, don’t expect your boyfriend to be able to spend 6 hours a day with you. That’s asking him to risk his academic standing! And if you know your girlfriend has a big paper coming up, don’t expect her to be able to go on a date night 3 times a week.
Having unrealistic time expectations only causes relationships to fall apart. So be open and honest with your partner about what times you can be together and what times your attention and presence need to be elsewhere.
But being realistic doesn’t stop at times. Be realistic about the stage of your relationship. If you’re not in love, don’t expect to say I love you – and that’s okay! (P.S. more likely than not, you are probably not in love when you first start dating).
Be realistic about emotional stress. Be realistic about whether you are truly comfortable with people they choose to be around. Be realistic about your partner’s faults.
Just be realistic and don’t set extreme expectations or false realities.
Tip #3: Ask, Don’t Assume
Do you feel like something is off in your relationship? Or are you suspicious about a certain friendship that your partner has? Or do you think your partner is upset with you?
Here’s a tip – ask them about it. Don’t assume about a situation when you don’t know all of the facts.
It may turn out that your gut feeling was right. But, when you just simply assume without openly asking your partner about what’s going on, you do 2 horrible things:
- You signal to your partner that you don’t trust them enough to talk to them about the situation and
- You create an argument instead of allowing for communication.
The truth is, we all hate it when people assume stuff about us, especially when that assumption is wrong. We feel the need to defend ourselves which usually results in an argument.
I’m not saying you have to give your partner the benefit of the doubt in every situation, but I am saying that you should ask them about it before you assume you know everything.
Tip #4: Don’t Curse At Eachother
I say curse, but what I truly mean is don’t call each other out of name in any way, shape, or form with the intention of hurting or belittling one another.
I get it, sometimes your boyfriend is just driving you up a wall. But don’t use your emotions as an excuse to belittle them.
It just sends a message that how much you value them changes with your mood. And, over time, it could lead to them undervaluing themselves as well.
Tip #5: Share the Pants
It’s true, some relationships have a partner who is more outspoken than the other, and that’s okay. But what’s not okay is assuming that your partner is not of equal value or does not have an equal say in the relationship simply because they are quieter.
If you want your college relationship to last, don’t waste your time arguing over who is in control of the relationship. The answer should be simple – no one. You share control.
By sharing the pants of the relationship, each partner has the freedom to express when they are satisfied and unsatisfied with certain aspects of the relationship. This allows for a space where boundaries are set and abuse is less likely.
Besides, if you truly care for your partner, why would you want to control them in the first place? And vice versa, if your partner truly cares for you, they shouldn’t want to control you either.
Tip #6: Learn Each Other’s Love Language
Truthfully, this tip has been a game-changer for my relationship.
Have you ever noticed how someone can spend $1000 on your girlfriend, and yet she is still more excited when they randomly tell her she’s beautiful?
That’s probably because her love language isn’t gifts but words of affirmations.
We all receive and give love differently. And if you can learn how your partner loves the best, then you can set yourself up to love your partner the best that you can.
For instance, I used to compliment my boyfriend all the time and buy him gifts. And while he liked it, these things never sent him over the moon. And that’s because I was using my personal love languages to love him.
When I instead learned that his love language is physical touch, I realized touches as simple as my hugs meant a million times more than the huge gifts I bought him.
And that’s okay with me because I now know how to ensure that he feels loved.
If you want to learn your love language and find out your partner’s love language, check out the Five Love languages Quiz here!
Tip #7: Listen Listen Listen!
Any relationship guru will tell you that you cannot expect your relationship to last if you and your partner are not listening to each other.
For one, Listening is a great way to show that you value your partner.
Last Christmas, my boyfriend got me an Apple Watch. I was genuinely shocked and loved it of course, but what I loved more was why he got it. He had remembered from one single conversations months earlier that I said I wanted an apple watch to track my workouts.
I felt so loved and valued because he simply made it a point to listen to me.
But listening also allows you to become a safe space for your partner. College can be a stressful time for everyone for multiple reasons. And if your partner trusts you enough to rant to you and tell you their problems, listen without judgment.
And to make it better, ask them if they would like advice, or if they just simply want to be listened to. This will make the safe space you create for them even more meaningful!
Tip #8: Keep Dating
I honestly don’t know any happy, long-term couples who have stopped dating each other.
I understand that college can be busy and rough but still make it a priority to spend quality time together. You don’t always have to get dressed and go out somewhere.
Some of the best dates my boyfriend and I have been on were just in our dorms watching movies and spending time together. And sometimes, that’s all it takes.
When you stop dating, you stop growing with each other. You stop making memories. You stop giving each other that quality time that all relationships need in order to survive.
It’s okay if you can only do a date once a week or every other week. As long as you make it a point to keep dating each other.
Tip #9: Go On Adventures Together
If you’re into mountain climbing and skydiving, by all means, make a date out of it! But, what I truly mean by going on adventures is simply try new things together.
The above picture is a waterfall that my boyfriend took me to in his hometown of Crossville, Tennessee. It was the first waterfall I had ever seen in my life and I loved it. And what made it even more special was that I got to experience it with him.
He also took me ice skating for the first time, another memory we have together.
And our latest adventure? Staring a women’s empowerment brand from the ground up.
Your adventures don’t have to be crazy, just make them yours. Go out and try new things together and make memories that you can only have with each other.
There’s no better time to do this than in college, and your bond will grow so much stronger as a result.
Tip #10: Have Separate Friend Groups
One thing I learned early on in my relationship is I don’t always want to hang out with my boyfriend’s friends. And I know for a fact that he doesn’t always want to hang out with mine.
If you want your college relationship to last, have separate friend groups than your partner. This gives you and your partner a space to grow and develop outside of each other. You and your partner can then explore different hobbies and enjoyments without pressure from each other.
Your friends can also be a safe space for relationship advice, especially since they can give new viewpoints that you and your partner may not be able to.
Now, I am not saying that you and your partner cannot share some friends. But I am saying that each of you should have an environment that you can go to that has no ties to each other whatsoever.
Tip #11: Spend Time Apart
This is a mistake that a lot of new couples make. New couples generally have this idea that they have to spend every single second together. I used to be this way too until I realized that it was hurting me and my relationship.
As I mentioned in tip #10, you and your partner need to be able to grow and develop outside of each other. Sometimes you may just need alone time. Other times you may want to just be with the girls and he may want to just be with the guys.
That’s healthy. Space in a relationship is healthy.
If you do not give each other space, your relationship will begin to suffocate you and will not survive.
This is especially true for college relationships where you have different organizations you are a part of and different friend groups and different classes.
You each need to have space to pursue these different parts of yourself.
If you want your college relationship to last, spend time apart from each other. Trust me, even if you don’t think you need the space, you do.
College, in general, is tough. But balancing a healthy relationship on top of everything else? Almost impossible! However, if you really want to make your college relationship last, then use these 11 tips. Trust me, your bond will grow stronger than you ever thought it could!
This post discussed healthy relationship tips for college couples.
Until next time,
